I’ve fixed the holidays for you. You’re welcome. Read on. Perhaps fixed is a touch overstating things, but the plan below will make you feel better – I promise. It involves half-assing and wine. Step One: Figure out the schedule early “What?” you say. “We have a schedule. It’s already defined in our agreement.” Of […]
It’s the most wonderful time of the year! Last night, after two days of insistent urging, we drew names for the Sibling Tree. The Sibling Tree is a favorite tradition in our house (borrowed and adapted from a dear friend), and eagerly anticipated. It works a bit like a Secret Santa gift exchange. Each child puts his or […]
When Gabe and I married, I understood I was committing to him and Sara, Amy, and Jack for the rest of my life. I had no idea what that actually meant. In hindsight, that’s probably a good thing. Knowing what I do now about parenting stepchildren, the complexities and nuances might have led me to put another mark in […]
My stepdaughter Amy has a war raging within her. It surfaced this weekend. “That’s not how mom makes potatoes,” she told me as I slid the roasting pan into the oven before dinner. After her shower, she came downstairs, long hair dripping down her back. She held up the Wet/Dry hairbrush she’d begged for the month before. […]
Last night, as we settled into bed with a glass of wine, Gabe shared that Caden had recently hurt his feelings. He’d planned an outing he thought Caden would like, and Caden’s response hadn’t met his expectations. It was one of a long list of disappointments my sweet husband had suffered this week. “It feels like nobody […]
Over the years, Billy and I have shared custody in many different ways. We’ve bird nested, alternated every two days, spent time in a 2/5/5/2, and most recently, adopted a week-to-week schedule. While when the children change homes has varied throughout our co-parenting journey, how they feel coming home on transition day has not. Transition day is tough. […]
Years ago, when we first began sharing custody, I dreaded the time my children were with their father. I missed them terribly, and transitions triggered all my grief and guilt about our divorce. I felt like a part-time parent and the days were excruciatingly long. As the time came for the kids to leave for […]
The most romantic statement Gabe ever made to me didn’t happen on our wedding day. He didn’t declare it at the base of the Eiffel Tower, or pen it in a greeting card. The sentence caught me by surprise as we were out to dinner on a rare weeknight alone. It was around the holidays, a particularly tough […]
I recently watched my grandmother die. She was nearly 93, at the end of a long and storied life, and she had no pain. My mother and I were with her, alone together in the room as she left us. In offering condolences, the hospice workers commented on how sweet she was, how kind and […]